I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
