i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
