he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
