if only i could text you this smell
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
