I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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