Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
