now i know why i became what i already was.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
