You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
