You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
