My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
