and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
