words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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