Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
