Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
