You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
farters have to be the big spoon...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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