I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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