guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
