Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
