I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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