hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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