do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
