508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
