i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
