During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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