toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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