I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
