I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
