Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
