The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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