I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
