She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
