Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
