There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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