After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
