I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
