The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
