Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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