remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
