Three words: puerto rican gang bang
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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