I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
