I didn't shave. On purpose
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
