So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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