O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
