it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize