Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
