so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
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