So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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