with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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