my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
