I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
