whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
