Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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