You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
