operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
