So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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