Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
