i barfeds in our rink
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
