he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
