I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
