I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
