its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
