i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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