his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
