remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I deserve this hangover.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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