i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
