i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
What drink are we having for lunch?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
