He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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