Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
