Rock
Scissors
Fuck
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize