There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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