You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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