I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
