So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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