Walk of Shame. In a state park.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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