Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Houston, we have a squirter
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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